🏁 Honda Club Newsletter – July Edition

“We don’t exist, but our love for Honda is very real.”

From the Desk of the President (aka Me): As President of the Honda Club, I’ll be sending out quarterly emails—or whenever I feel like it. Actually, there’s no schedule, only vibes.

Club Guidelines

• Annual Membership Dues: $15

• $17 if you don’t own a Honda (because we’re petty like that)

• Where does the money go? Great question. I’ll get back to you once I finish building my Metro-shaped pool float.

• Since we technically don’t exist, we don’t give back to the community or charity. We give back to ourselves—in the form of questionable merch and emotional support.

News & Updates

• We’re looking for a new T-shirt design. If you have ideas, email me. Bonus points if it includes flames, lug nuts, or a Civic.

• A massive shoutout to Captain Sniff and Ben Dover for nearly 20 years of Honda ownership. If that doesn’t scream quality and value, then we’ll scream it for you.

  • Captain & Ben: Please send us your best Honda memory and current mileage. We’ll immortalize it in the next newsletter (or at least slap it on a sticker).

• Justin Time, we need a short article about how sweet the Grom is. Keep it PG.

• Keep an eye peeled for the August newsletter - “A History of Honda,” where you will get a timeline of all of Honda’s great inventions.

Election Season (Fake, But Fierce)

It’s July, which means it’s time for our annual fake election. I’m running for President again, and I’d like to publicly deny any allegations of embezzling club funds. That Metro-shaped pool float was a personal expense.

A Love Letter to Metro

Let me tell you about a HOG named Metro. To the average person, she’s a Honda Metropolitan. To me, she’s Metro, Queen of the Side Streets. She may not be fast—0 to 30 in roughly 84 seconds—but she’s got style, soul, and a mysterious ability to attract attention.

She averages 130 mpg, carries groceries like a champ, and once helped me land a date at a gas station. Metro isn’t just a scooter. She’s a lifestyle. A dream. A two-wheeled thunderstorm of charm. Some people dream big. But when I ride Metro, I feel big.

Honda Cars: The Legend Continues

Honda ranks among the top five car manufacturers with the most returning customers. Why? Because they build cars that refuse to die. Solid parts, simple engineering, and a stubborn refusal to break down.

Need proof?

• Justin Kilmer drove his 2003 Honda Accord V-6 over 1 million miles as a medical courier. That car didn’t just survive—it saved lives.

https://www.kristv.com/news/local-news/honda-driver-hits-million-mile-milestone

• Joe’s 1990 Honda Accord also hit the million-mile mark. Original engine. Original transmission. 185 oil changes. 13 sets of brake pads. And still going strong.

https://www.motor1.com/news/663183/honda-accord-with-one-million-miles-video/

These aren’t just cars. They’re legends. And they’re the reason our club exists (sort of).

🏁 Final Thoughts

Whether you’re riding a Grom, pushing a mower, or whispering sweet nothings to your Civic, you’re part of something bigger. Something we made up—but believe in deeply.

Stay weird. Stay loyal. Stay Honda. Your President (Until the Fake Ballots Are Counted)